25 Facts About the Imperial Fists

A Few years ago, at the height of the Chuck Norris Facts  craze, me and a friend of mine decided to record some facts about the Imperium's foremost space marine legion/chapter, the Imperial Fists. Posting it here to keep it from getting buried on the forums I posted it on.

1. It is true that Guilliman wrote the codex astartes, exactly as dictated by Dorn
2. Imperial Fist Librarians don't take Perils of the Warp tests, the Warp takes Perils of the Imperial Fists tests.
3. When an Imperial Fist crosses the road, no dares ask him why he did it.
4. The pen is mightier than the power sword, when properly wielded by an Imperial Fist
5. Imperial fists tactical squads don't take special weapons, as every weapon is special in the hands of the imperial fists
6. The universe is always expanding, but it knows full well that it can't escape the wrath of the Imperial Fists
7. The Codex Astartes defines Impregnable as: "Can only be taken by Imperial Fists"
8. The Imperial Fists have designed several fortress worlds, and let them fall to Chaos, just in case they get bored
9. They Catachan devil was known as the Segmentum Solar devil, before the Imperial Fists started hunting it
10. The mechanicum's 3rd law of motion is wrong, there is no reaction equal and oppisite to an assault by the Imperial Fists!
11. The mechanicm's 1st law of thermodynamics is wrong as well, an Imperial Fist can destroy anything, even energy
12. Rogal Dorn invented black, in fact, he invented the whole spectrum of colors...except pink which is clearly the work of the Ultra Marines
13. An imperial fist can play russian roulette with a fully loaded storm bolter, and win!
14. Had the Lord of the Rings featured an Imperial Fist instead of a hobit as its main character, it would only be 5 pages long
15. Rogal Dorn once engaged in a staring contest with the eye of terror, and won!
16. If at first you don't succeed, you are not an Imperial Fist!
17. The Codex Astartes was originally titled: "How to be more like the Imperial Fists"
18. The Imperial Fists did not lose Bechters Gland (spit poison) they donated it to needier chapters
19. The Imperial Fists got rid of the Sus-An Membrane (1/2 sleep) because they realized that
20. if they didn't take an occasional break there would be nothing left to kill in the Galaxy
21. To this day no one knows if Imperial Fist Vehicles have a reverse gear, as they have never retreated
22. An imperial Fist never has to oil his bolter or armour as they are always slick with blood.
23. If an Imperial Fist wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
24. After taking a steroids test, the Apothacaries informed Rogal Dorn that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information,
25. and said unto them "of course my blood tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"